While Never Say Never Again isn't a canonical Bond movie, it is pretty fucking bad. Getting Sean Connery to come back was a big coup in 1982, and it went head to head with Octopussy. What makes this truly a sad piece of crap is that its a remake of Thunderball, without all the pert originality which made the original fodder for proper entertainment. And on top of that Sean Connery's head had already started to spread out horizontally, but before he was white and bearded.
7. The World Is Not Enough
Denise Richards is a rocket scientist. Anything else?
6. You Only Live Twice
Is there anything more offensive than putting Sean Connery in asian-face?
Answer: No, no there's not. By far the weakest Connery Bond (not counting Never Say Never Again, but that's a whole different ball game), which by comparison makes it lower than perhaps it deserves to be. But I've never felt the need to placate anyone I don't know.
5. The Living Daylights
So people think that Timothy Dalton made an ok Bond, comparable to George Lazenby (who?). Not me. Not me at all, sir. He just doesn't have the charm necessary for Bond to be believably entertaining. He nails the first part of that description but not the second. He's just not fun to watch. Truth be told, The Living Daylights does have a better plot than its place on this list would lead you to believe, but I just don't enjoy it.
4. Die Another Day
This one wins the title of worst theme song, with Madonna's titular track. Brosnan's last outing is an attempt to mature the Bond character for him, which unfortunately backfires into absolute ridiculousness. You kind of forget about Bond the tortured and fragile POW when he starts driving around his invisible through an ice hotel to save Halle Berry.
While Die Another Day isn't the single reason for the franchise reboot, it is definitely one of the prime suspects. Pierce, we really liked you in Goldeneye, why did you let us down so?
3. Octopussy
Gypsies, for the most part, aren't very interesting. They just steal your stuff and ruin your James Bond movies.
2. License to Kill
Timothy Dalton on made two Bond movies, and this piece of trash is the reason why. The plot is weak, the bond girls are weak and Dalton is dismal. And it had to go up against the first Tim Burton Batman, Last Crusade and The Abyss. Needless to say, it didn't fare too well.
1. Tomorrow Never Dies
Now don't get me wrong, I'm down for the whole women's empowerment thing but not when it involves James Bond handcuffed to that one asian chick thats in everything riding a motorcycle through a stereotype. Especially because the whole effect really falls flat when you're able to tell that a) pierce brosnan has no business on a motorcycle and was only too happy to delegate this one to a stuntman b) said stuntman isn't actually handcuffed to a asian chick, but its a prop fake sleeve with the asian girl actually holding on to his arm, and c) why is James Bond handcuffed to anyone? Roger Moore would've never let that happen to him. Its just embarrassing.
James Bond is known for over-the-top set pieces which only exist for the stunts preformed around them, but some are definitely far inferior to others. And this has to be by far the worst example.
So that about wraps it up. This was done mainly in anticipation of Quantum of Solace, the 22nd canonical Bond movie and the second with Daniel Craig. Quantum will be unique in that it is the first direct sequel of the franchise. Expect Bond to kick some ass finding out who was really behind Vesper Lind's betrayal. I'll end this with my favorite Bond quote, one which doesn't actually appear in any of the films (to my knowledge), but rather the closing line of Ian Fleming's first James Bond novel, Casino Royale: "The bitch is dead."
Here are the previous two posts:
Worst Bond Movies 22 - 16
Worst Bond Movies 15 - 9
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